8/20: I believe in Jacob Black

Yesterday, as I was watching a special on Twilight, this thought came over me and I’m sure it has come across you as well if you are in to the whole fandom. The thought was that the Edward Cullens of this world may come and go sometimes, but the Jacob Blacks are there forever. Now if you do not know me let me tell you this, I am a DIE HARD Edward Cullen fan so saying that I believe in Jacob Black is saying something.

Now I know that Edward stays with Bella in the end, but what if Alice didn’t see him trying to commit vampire suicide? Jacob would be her number one, not Edward.

From personal experience I had my Edward Cullen. He was perfect. I couldn’t see a flaw what-so-ever in him. But then my New Moon moment and it wasn’t as gracious as Edward and Bella’s was. He just up and left me.

Now I’m with my Jacob, and he makes me feel 100x better than my Edward made me feel, though my Edward still has memories that I can’t share with anyone else no matter how much I want to.

I don’t think this makes any sense written out, but it does in my head, plus it’s just a random thought, and I know this is an issue that has come up time and time again in the Twilight fandom: The people who read it compare it to their lives and for some odd reason it makes sense in both realms.

I just wanted to come out and officially say as a now Team Switzerland, that I believe in Jacob Black and understand why those Team Jacob people love him so much. XP

7/7: Bring on the Rain

It’s been a month since I’ve last posted on here and so much has happened in such a short or long time, depending on which way you look at it. I’m finally after 18 years of living with my mom moving out (by the way I’m only nineteen so don’t think that an aweful long time to burden my mother). So I’m really excited about that!

You know so much has happened and I can’t seem to remember all that I was going to say. Silly me. I guess I could fangirl about how much I love Nurse Jackie!

Yeah I’ve basically become addicted to that show. I first started to watch it for the gorgeous Peter Facinelli who is ABSOLUTELY hilarious in it, but then everyone started rubbing off on me. So now I can’t live with out it!

Of course the death of Micheal Jackson was the saddest event of the past month and a week. I bawled like a baby then and today during his memorial service. The water works didn’t come until his daughter was up there. He will surely be missed, as will Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcet, and Billy Mays.

Now I’ve really become lost in thought and shall make this blog come to an end.

~lydia

5/18: Ideas, Dentist, and Wii Tennis

There has been a tragedy in my life. No nothing really personal, but the computer that I use to upload videos and pictures on to because it’s the only one with Bluetooth on it (a.k.a. my sister’s computer) has died. =( Some stupid person dropped it and it’s beyond the point of repair. So as I get in the swing of things on YouTube this happens and then I am put on another hiatus until I get money to fix my computer and get a memory card. Which is gonna be awhile because no one is looking at my applications that I have sent in!!! I need a job people!! It’s kinda hard to pay for stuff that you mother is making you pay when you DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY!!! Anywho…that means that this blog and my other one and all of my fanfiction is going to be updated more often! There’s a schedule of when my writings are going up on Fangirl so check out that if you are interested.

I hope someone hires me soon.

I went to the dentist today and that was sort of fun. Not. I really hate the dentist. The sounds of the pick thingy scraping my teeth drives me nuts. On the other hand the masostic (is that how you spell it?) side of me loves the pain of it all. Weird huh? Plus the lady who does the teeth cleaning talks and asks me questions WHILE she has her hands in my mouth and they aren’t yes or no questions either, so I’m being paranoid trying not to bite her fingers off while answering her question. That really kinda bothers me. Why do you do that nosy dental hygenists? All in all they still can’t believe that I am 19 because my wisdom teeth have yet to come in and they still think I’ve had braces because apparently my teeth are so perfect. Riddle me this Mr. DDS: If my teeth are so perfect how come I can see/feel the flaws?

So when I got back from one of my least favorite places in the world I started to play Wii Tennis. It has to be one of my favorite games on there ever! But it has made me realize that I’m very mean and explicit towards the Miis that I play against. Really glad my mom wasn’t here to hear me. Oh well.

Another day has passed and another one approaches. No sister again tonight. I think I shall steal her comfy bed.

~lydia

5/16: A Late Night Muse or An Early Morning Thought

Tonight I can not sleep. I went to bed, put on a movie that I can fall asleep to, and just lied there. Sleep was not coming to me, so I decided to go in the living room and watch some television to make me a bit more sleepy. I surfed the channels again and again. I didn’t come across anything particular. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon was on one station. Dane Cook on another. But then I found a movie that I haven’t seen in a long time on. I started watching it. It was Save the Last Dance. It was at least a third of the way in because it was at the part where Julia Stiles character was having a breakdown at the theatre where the hot guy took her to see the ballet. Then it came to the scene where they share their first kiss on her front stoop, and that was when I broke.

Everything that has been building up inside of me for the past couple of months came bursting out of me in the form of a hysterical sob. This could be because right now my hormones are a mess and I cry at almost anything, but then I got to thinking, this is not because of me being a woman. This is because I am a pheonix who is dying.

My family says because of a few mistakes that I have made that I am young and we make these mistakes. “You may think the world is coming to an end, but it’s not,” they repeat over and over again. I think there is some truth in that. I think that the world comes to an end several times in everyone’s life. Once when you discover that your childhood has come to an end. Another when you have your heart broken for the first time. Then another when you make the first huge mistake in your life. And another when you experience your first loss. Then when your world truly comes to an end in the form of death.

So with my hysterical sob in reaction to the kiss of Julia Stiles and the hot guy, his name escapes me at the moment so he will be reffered to as the hot guy, I begin to think that right now my world is ending.

While thinking “Man I have really screwed up my life how am I ever going to fix this,” another thought popped into my head. More of a passage from a reasonably well-known book that happens to be the one I quote the most. No it’s not Twilight as some of you might think, it’s John Green’s Looking For Alaska. I thought of the paper that the main character Pudge (a.k.a. Miles) wrote for his religion class on the subject of Alaska’s death. It’s my favorite passage out of any book, and believe me I have read many books of many different genres written at very different times, but this one stands out the most. Maybe it’s because I secretly monolouge it when no one is at home or maybe because John Green’s words through the eyes of Pudge have truth and make me feel like there is hope for all of us.

If you have read the novel you may not get that out of that last part of the book but I do. It gives me hope to trudge on through the day, and in essence makes me ask myself when I get in these silly depressing stupors: What would Pudge do?

I’m sorry dear internet void if this blog seems confusing, but I am a girl who is rising from the ashes once more and is conveing her thoughts through a modern way. And like Pudge trying to seek my “Great Perhaps”

So I bid you Good Morning or Good Evening whatever the time maybe where you are and remember the world does come to an end.

~lydia

4/23: Giles Made Me Do It!!!

So my loverly friend Giles (click here for blog) tagged me in JohnnyDurham’s new meme. The meme was to look up your name on Urban Dictionary. These are the first three entries on my name:

1. lydia
(n) An attractive girl who is funny
God I wish my gilfriend could be more like a Lydia

2. lydia
a hottie
whoa, did u see that lydia?

3. lydia
coolest chick to ever exist
wow, check out that lydia. she is FINE!
i wish i could have a lydia

So apparently I’m a cool hot chick. And the other entries were professions of love for people named Lydia. Only one was the actual definition of my name.

I tag who ever want’s to do it who hasn’t done it yet! So GO!

~Lydia

4/21: Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson

So this post has nothing to do with it’s title. I just didn’t have a clever way of titling this post except for that.

I come to you random people of the internet in search of someone who I can just tell what’s going on without getting too personal, but bare my soul at the same time. Plus I said in my Fangirl post yesterday that I’d post on here and I forgot, so I apologize for that. Anyways to the baring my soul somewhat part.

Late Sunday night, or was it early Monday morning, either/or I didn’t go to bed until 9AM on Monday, I had an epiphany of what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to open a comic book store in my town. We have bookstores and novelty shops that sell comics, but not exculsively. So I came up with the idea to do that and go into business with my best friend Dustin if his plans with his girl don’t interfere. So now I am entering a venture new to me and I hope it suceeds! *crosses fingers*

My epiphany came after the fact that I’m dropping out of college to do this. I’ve decided that I’m really not cut out for college. I’m so ruled by my emotions that I can’t focus on school that much, plus certain members of my family aren’t making my emotional status any better. But I don’t want to tell them that. We already have a crappy relationship; why make it worse?

Oh well. Now I’m going to kinda be preoccupied with my new business venture. I really hope Dustin says yes cause he’s the only person that I trust in this sort of venture. Otherwise I’ll have to be in it by myself with my mother backing me up.

~lydia

4/13: End of BEDA for me and the beginning of something else

So I have to unfortunately end BEDA early. My computer went to the shop and I have resorted to using my grandparents computer today to check up on some stuff. I think my computer is coming back towards the end of the week so I may be able to resume BEDA then, but until I know for sure BEDA is over for moi. Oh and I’d love to use my grandparents computer to finish the remainder of the project, but I’d have to sacrifice days in front of the same computer helping my Grandpap with his computer and figuring out stuff he doesn’t know. It can be tedious and becomes very exgausting quickly. So I don’t want to use their computer all of the time.

On my LiveJournal I have decided to write a story. I don’t know how long it will be but it will be original and probably come in installments that will appear either everyday, every other day, once a week, or whenever I feel like writing it. You will be informed later on how that’s going to be handled. I’ve been wanting to do something original for quite some time. I’ll post links to each installment on my Twitter or if you want to go ahead and friend me on LiveJournal click HERE so you don’t have to wait for me to post the link on Twitter or somewhere else.

Well I guess that’s all I have to say today on things that need to be updated. I haven’t had and worthy news to update on Fangirl so there won’t be anything up there until something catches my eye.

Until next time
~Lydia

4/2: On the second day of BEDA…

Hey everyone! Time for another installment of BEDA! (I promise I’ll stop the BEDA crap after a week..maybe…we’ll see…)

So today I woke up in a haze of sadness and happiness being thrown at me from different directions. I woke from a horrible dream where I was in car crash and my boyfriend was with me and he died and I surrvied some how because it was an awful crash. So I immediately go on Twitter to see if anything bad happened to him, but before I could tweet him he woke up and tweeted something so I knew all was well. He still doesn’t know about the dream unless he reads this blog.

Once the fret of the dream and wondering if he was still alive, I get a knock on the door from the FedEx man. I grab my package, open it up and low and behold I find two books that I’ve been dying for and my loverly friend Dri gave to me for feeling guilty about the Chicago trip. The Twilight Director’s Notebook and The Robert Pattinson Album. (By the way I’m a Twilighter and a Harry Potter lover! It IS possible to love BOTH!) These made me really happy and were put in my distraction pile.

Then the winds outside began to pick up and it’s like an almost tornado wind it’s that bad, so I’m kinda freaking out and then hoping that it get’s a little worse so I don’t go to class tonight. *crosses fingers*

Now to Jordan’s challenge! (the coordinator of the blogs for this massive event! His blog is http://blogeverydayapril.blogspot.com)

I’m going to do the first one because the second one involves a movie I don’t own and can’t rent it right now because of the lack of funds that I have.

So the challenge was: “PONDER THE FULLNESS OF YOUR LIFE
AS QUESTIONED BY A BOX OF CEREAL” In which you have to see if you did the 18 things before you turned 18 as questioned by the back of the Reeses Puff cereal box (well that’s how I interpreted this challenge). As it being I just turned 19 two weeks ago I’m still going to do it all the same and elborate a bit on some, so here it goes!

1. Ride the world’s biggest roller coaster.
Um…no thank you..I could barely take that Runaway Train one at Disney World. That and I’m deathly afraid of heights. You’d be lucky to get me on a plane.

2. Bungee jump!
See above for confession of the height issue.

3. Score the winning goal/basket
Me athletic? No.

4. Win an award, trophy, or prize.
Yup! I won best actress in high school for playing Mary Girard in The Insainity of Mary Girard and numerous choir ones from middle school.

5. Learn an instrument.
I can play the piano quite well, not as well as I’d like, but I can play it. Working on guitar right now.

6. Go back stage at a gig.
Nope.

7. Meet your idol.
Nope.

8. Play a part in your favorite TV show.
Nope.

9. Meet someone with your own name.
Check!

10. Make a discovery.
Not really.

11. Get away with the perfect practical joke.
Nope. I’m bad at jokes (see yesterday’s blog).

12. Own a pointless collection.
I don’t concider it pointless but other people do. I collect buttons pins. I think I have over 100 in different sizes.

13. Invent a word that makes it into the dictionary.
No..unless adding every word that doesn’t have

14. Conquer your biggest fear.
Um..no I still have my biggest fear in tact.

15. Raise money for charity.
Check! Relay for Life and March of Dimes! Those happen to be my top fave charities.

16. Pass your driving the first time.
Pshh..I don’t even drive..never even been to the DMV to take the test let alone driver’s ed. Driving scares the crap out of me.

17. Complete a road trip coast to coast.
Not really, but if you count going from Texas to California and then on a completly different trip go from Texas to Florida then yes I have. If not, then no, no I have not.

18. Reach 18 years of age.
Seeing that I’m 19 now, I’m gonna say czech (hehe).

So you know a little bit more about me and now I think cereal boxes have high expectations for people under 18 to do stuff.

Until tomorrow!

~Lydia

First day of BEDA! And the most loathed ‘holiday’ by me…

Happy BEDA everyone!!! I can’t believe I can actually do something Nerdfighterish without interference. If you’ve known me for awhile you’ll get that last statement. Anywho..Hello! For those who are incountering me or this blog for the first time lemme welcome you with a hug for I am a huggy person. I write about random things and have another blog that’s devoted to the multiple fandoms I am apart of which you can view here. So there’s my very short intro of myself to you guys and on to the other stuff that makes this a post!

So as all of you know it’s April Fool’s Day and if you read my last post I said that I had a prank to pull on you all but when I woke up this morning I decided not too because then I became all nostalgic and thought about the jokes played on me and they weren’t nice. Plus I can never pull one off. Not even a nice haha funny one. I’m also bad at telling jokes because I crack up in the middle of them. Unless they’re knock-knock jokes then I’m good at those, but other than that no I can’t tell jokes unless you think I’m a joke. Oh well moving right along..*starts to sing Movin’ Right Along from the Muppet Movie* (Yeah I break out into song sometimes..bad habit I know).

Why do we even have April Fool’s Day? It’s really stupid like Valentine’s Day. Why do we have stupid pointless holidays? I think in the case of Valentine’s Day it’s pointless because I personally believe that if you are with someone you really care about you don’t need one day to tell them how much you care for them and what not. Everyday should be Valentine’s day in relationships not one day out of the year. As for April Fool’s Day, WTF? Truely it’s like either national opposite day or make some one feel like shit day. Now I wonder about the kids that are born on this day and their mother’s in the delivery room. Especially if they had the one doctor who was really into the day and the mother births the baby and he says something like, “It’s a boy!” when you were planning for a girl, or something cruel like something is wrong with your baby and then they go “April Fools!” That would be just awful. By the way I can get pretty pessimistic about things sorry…I am normally a happy person, but the road leads to pessimism and then comes back to happy.

Well that’s my schpeel for the day. Hope you’ll still read this blog tomorrow! And if you want to get to know me better follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/misamille

Until tomorrow!

~Lydia

Another pre-BEDA post but this time full of melancoly…

Yesterday my day ended on a high note. Talked to friends that I haven’t talked to in ages, planned the rest of my year out, got some cleaning done, talked to my loverly boyfriend, and fell asleep watching Bo Burnham on Comedy Central even though I have his special on DVD now.

I think falling asleep was the worst thing that I could have done because I had some very unpleasant dreams that involved my ex-boyfriend’s family but not him which was really weird and now I really want to know what the hell my unconcious was trying to tell me. Not that I really believe in reading into dreams that much its just I know when I dream something there’s a point to those waves forming images in my head. So then I woke up rather late to this sinus pressure that has been building itself in my head since last night and it’s really awful.

Once I was fully awake I go to the computer like normal, let it update, and get on Twitter to see what everyone is up to after I tweet my intial morning tweet adding the fact that I feel like shit. My loverly friend @hptwilighter then is so kind to inform me that Kristina of Five Awesome Girls and wrock band The Parselmouths fame has announced on the 5AG channel that one third of The Parselmouths has quit. This makes me more upset.

Then when I am feeling a little bit over it, my friend calls me and announces that he’s going to be shipped to Iraq in a few months and be gone for a year. This just uberly depresses me for the last time someone I knew went to Iraq he was killed in gunfire right before he was to come home. The sadness increases.

As I’m being sad for that I get a DM from my friend who I was going to see in Chicago in a few weeks to see How To Be. She tells me that her job is sending her away that week so everything we were planning was thrown out the window. Now it feels like the world is trying to tell me something that is not clicking in my head and it’s bothering me.

The funny thing of all of this is that with all of my Twitter friends trying to cheer me up someone that I follow indirectly cheered me up by Tweeting something in binary. Didn’t really read what she typed but I knew it was binary and that cheered me up. I think it very odd that that was the thing that cheered me up and none of the efforts of my friends did. I’m sorry guys if you read this. My mind is very weird today and I blame my weirdness for that.

So if you follow me on Twitter you have already seen this progress through my tweets and it may sound redundant but I needed to form it all out in complete sentenses and complain to someone. Apparently I can’t spell today either.

I have a lot more to complain about but I’m not going to because I don’t really wanna sound like the whiny bitch that I’m not.

Until tomorrow,

~Lydia

P.S. Tomorrow is the first day of BEDA and April Fools Day and I have a good one planned for you guys tomorrow. You won’t know if it’s real or not! hehehe