8/20: I believe in Jacob Black

Yesterday, as I was watching a special on Twilight, this thought came over me and I’m sure it has come across you as well if you are in to the whole fandom. The thought was that the Edward Cullens of this world may come and go sometimes, but the Jacob Blacks are there forever. Now if you do not know me let me tell you this, I am a DIE HARD Edward Cullen fan so saying that I believe in Jacob Black is saying something.

Now I know that Edward stays with Bella in the end, but what if Alice didn’t see him trying to commit vampire suicide? Jacob would be her number one, not Edward.

From personal experience I had my Edward Cullen. He was perfect. I couldn’t see a flaw what-so-ever in him. But then my New Moon moment and it wasn’t as gracious as Edward and Bella’s was. He just up and left me.

Now I’m with my Jacob, and he makes me feel 100x better than my Edward made me feel, though my Edward still has memories that I can’t share with anyone else no matter how much I want to.

I don’t think this makes any sense written out, but it does in my head, plus it’s just a random thought, and I know this is an issue that has come up time and time again in the Twilight fandom: The people who read it compare it to their lives and for some odd reason it makes sense in both realms.

I just wanted to come out and officially say as a now Team Switzerland, that I believe in Jacob Black and understand why those Team Jacob people love him so much. XP


7/7: Bring on the Rain

It’s been a month since I’ve last posted on here and so much has happened in such a short or long time, depending on which way you look at it. I’m finally after 18 years of living with my mom moving out (by the way I’m only nineteen so don’t think that an aweful long time to burden my mother). So I’m really excited about that!

You know so much has happened and I can’t seem to remember all that I was going to say. Silly me. I guess I could fangirl about how much I love Nurse Jackie!

Yeah I’ve basically become addicted to that show. I first started to watch it for the gorgeous Peter Facinelli who is ABSOLUTELY hilarious in it, but then everyone started rubbing off on me. So now I can’t live with out it!

Of course the death of Micheal Jackson was the saddest event of the past month and a week. I bawled like a baby then and today during his memorial service. The water works didn’t come until his daughter was up there. He will surely be missed, as will Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcet, and Billy Mays.

Now I’ve really become lost in thought and shall make this blog come to an end.



5/18: Ideas, Dentist, and Wii Tennis

There has been a tragedy in my life. No nothing really personal, but the computer that I use to upload videos and pictures on to because it’s the only one with Bluetooth on it (a.k.a. my sister’s computer) has died. =( Some stupid person dropped it and it’s beyond the point of repair. So as I get in the swing of things on YouTube this happens and then I am put on another hiatus until I get money to fix my computer and get a memory card. Which is gonna be awhile because no one is looking at my applications that I have sent in!!! I need a job people!! It’s kinda hard to pay for stuff that you mother is making you pay when you DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY!!! Anywho…that means that this blog and my other one and all of my fanfiction is going to be updated more often! There’s a schedule of when my writings are going up on Fangirl so check out that if you are interested.

I hope someone hires me soon.

I went to the dentist today and that was sort of fun. Not. I really hate the dentist. The sounds of the pick thingy scraping my teeth drives me nuts. On the other hand the masostic (is that how you spell it?) side of me loves the pain of it all. Weird huh? Plus the lady who does the teeth cleaning talks and asks me questions WHILE she has her hands in my mouth and they aren’t yes or no questions either, so I’m being paranoid trying not to bite her fingers off while answering her question. That really kinda bothers me. Why do you do that nosy dental hygenists? All in all they still can’t believe that I am 19 because my wisdom teeth have yet to come in and they still think I’ve had braces because apparently my teeth are so perfect. Riddle me this Mr. DDS: If my teeth are so perfect how come I can see/feel the flaws?

So when I got back from one of my least favorite places in the world I started to play Wii Tennis. It has to be one of my favorite games on there ever! But it has made me realize that I’m very mean and explicit towards the Miis that I play against. Really glad my mom wasn’t here to hear me. Oh well.

Another day has passed and another one approaches. No sister again tonight. I think I shall steal her comfy bed.



5/16: A Late Night Muse or An Early Morning Thought

Tonight I can not sleep. I went to bed, put on a movie that I can fall asleep to, and just lied there. Sleep was not coming to me, so I decided to go in the living room and watch some television to make me a bit more sleepy. I surfed the channels again and again. I didn’t come across anything particular. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon was on one station. Dane Cook on another. But then I found a movie that I haven’t seen in a long time on. I started watching it. It was Save the Last Dance. It was at least a third of the way in because it was at the part where Julia Stiles character was having a breakdown at the theatre where the hot guy took her to see the ballet. Then it came to the scene where they share their first kiss on her front stoop, and that was when I broke.

Everything that has been building up inside of me for the past couple of months came bursting out of me in the form of a hysterical sob. This could be because right now my hormones are a mess and I cry at almost anything, but then I got to thinking, this is not because of me being a woman. This is because I am a pheonix who is dying.

My family says because of a few mistakes that I have made that I am young and we make these mistakes. “You may think the world is coming to an end, but it’s not,” they repeat over and over again. I think there is some truth in that. I think that the world comes to an end several times in everyone’s life. Once when you discover that your childhood has come to an end. Another when you have your heart broken for the first time. Then another when you make the first huge mistake in your life. And another when you experience your first loss. Then when your world truly comes to an end in the form of death.

So with my hysterical sob in reaction to the kiss of Julia Stiles and the hot guy, his name escapes me at the moment so he will be reffered to as the hot guy, I begin to think that right now my world is ending.

While thinking “Man I have really screwed up my life how am I ever going to fix this,” another thought popped into my head. More of a passage from a reasonably well-known book that happens to be the one I quote the most. No it’s not Twilight as some of you might think, it’s John Green’s Looking For Alaska. I thought of the paper that the main character Pudge (a.k.a. Miles) wrote for his religion class on the subject of Alaska’s death. It’s my favorite passage out of any book, and believe me I have read many books of many different genres written at very different times, but this one stands out the most. Maybe it’s because I secretly monolouge it when no one is at home or maybe because John Green’s words through the eyes of Pudge have truth and make me feel like there is hope for all of us.

If you have read the novel you may not get that out of that last part of the book but I do. It gives me hope to trudge on through the day, and in essence makes me ask myself when I get in these silly depressing stupors: What would Pudge do?

I’m sorry dear internet void if this blog seems confusing, but I am a girl who is rising from the ashes once more and is conveing her thoughts through a modern way. And like Pudge trying to seek my “Great Perhaps”

So I bid you Good Morning or Good Evening whatever the time maybe where you are and remember the world does come to an end.



4/23: Giles Made Me Do It!!!

So my loverly friend Giles (click here for blog) tagged me in JohnnyDurham’s new meme. The meme was to look up your name on Urban Dictionary. These are the first three entries on my name:

1. lydia
(n) An attractive girl who is funny
God I wish my gilfriend could be more like a Lydia

2. lydia
a hottie
whoa, did u see that lydia?

3. lydia
coolest chick to ever exist
wow, check out that lydia. she is FINE!
i wish i could have a lydia

So apparently I’m a cool hot chick. And the other entries were professions of love for people named Lydia. Only one was the actual definition of my name.

I tag who ever want’s to do it who hasn’t done it yet! So GO!



4/21: Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson

So this post has nothing to do with it’s title. I just didn’t have a clever way of titling this post except for that.

I come to you random people of the internet in search of someone who I can just tell what’s going on without getting too personal, but bare my soul at the same time. Plus I said in my Fangirl post yesterday that I’d post on here and I forgot, so I apologize for that. Anyways to the baring my soul somewhat part.

Late Sunday night, or was it early Monday morning, either/or I didn’t go to bed until 9AM on Monday, I had an epiphany of what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to open a comic book store in my town. We have bookstores and novelty shops that sell comics, but not exculsively. So I came up with the idea to do that and go into business with my best friend Dustin if his plans with his girl don’t interfere. So now I am entering a venture new to me and I hope it suceeds! *crosses fingers*

My epiphany came after the fact that I’m dropping out of college to do this. I’ve decided that I’m really not cut out for college. I’m so ruled by my emotions that I can’t focus on school that much, plus certain members of my family aren’t making my emotional status any better. But I don’t want to tell them that. We already have a crappy relationship; why make it worse?

Oh well. Now I’m going to kinda be preoccupied with my new business venture. I really hope Dustin says yes cause he’s the only person that I trust in this sort of venture. Otherwise I’ll have to be in it by myself with my mother backing me up.



4/13: End of BEDA for me and the beginning of something else

So I have to unfortunately end BEDA early. My computer went to the shop and I have resorted to using my grandparents computer today to check up on some stuff. I think my computer is coming back towards the end of the week so I may be able to resume BEDA then, but until I know for sure BEDA is over for moi. Oh and I’d love to use my grandparents computer to finish the remainder of the project, but I’d have to sacrifice days in front of the same computer helping my Grandpap with his computer and figuring out stuff he doesn’t know. It can be tedious and becomes very exgausting quickly. So I don’t want to use their computer all of the time.

On my LiveJournal I have decided to write a story. I don’t know how long it will be but it will be original and probably come in installments that will appear either everyday, every other day, once a week, or whenever I feel like writing it. You will be informed later on how that’s going to be handled. I’ve been wanting to do something original for quite some time. I’ll post links to each installment on my Twitter or if you want to go ahead and friend me on LiveJournal click HERE so you don’t have to wait for me to post the link on Twitter or somewhere else.

Well I guess that’s all I have to say today on things that need to be updated. I haven’t had and worthy news to update on Fangirl so there won’t be anything up there until something catches my eye.

Until next time

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