Anniverseries, Birthdays, Celebrations, and a Dash of Pessimism

For those that know me in real life or know me really well online, I can be as opitimistic as they come. Always excited for the newest thing or just really upbeat period. But to counter that happy attitude I’m also one of the most pessimistic people you will ever encounter as well. I say this because I am not really the happy person everyone cherishes and adores right now. I am basically the equivilent of Grumpy from Snow White, before we find out he has feelings for Snow White, right now.

My birthday is coming up and for the second year in a row, I’m not happy about it. I think I was never truely happy about my birthday. In my entire life-span on this planet I have only had five birthday parties, and I only truely enjoyed one. It was my ninth and I should have not been happy about the outcome because I invited my entire second grade class and only five boys showed up. My best friend at the time didn’t even show, but I had a great time and that’s the last time my birthday ment something to me.

My sixteenth birthday rolls around. I had this huge, wonderful, and very beautiful party planned out, but when it came down to it I didn’t get to have my wonderful sweet sixteen. I ended up spending the day in a car on the way back from Florida going home from what should have been an awesome time at Disney World, but it felt like I was the only one that wasn’t happy in the ‘Happiest Place on Earth’. I didn’t even get a Happy Birthday from my boyfriend at the time.

Now my ninteenth birthday approaches and I will be spending it in the last place I want to be, in a very cold Ohio visting my Aunt and her boyfriend. I don’t get to hang out with my friends let alone be allowed online the whole enitre Spring Break. Yes my birthday always has landed, minus two years, on my Spring Break. I feel duped in the utmost sense of that word.

So what’s the point of celebrating what’s supposed to be a happy day, if the only result is misery. The same goes for anniversaries or any kind of celebration. What the point of all of the outlandish ceremonies that we as human beings take part in? Some cases to honor people or events, but do we really have to throw a party and see who can get drunk or a sugar high, whatever the case is, first? I honestly see no point in the whole ordeal.

If you happen to be one of those people who love this sort of thing, good for you, you have all the fun you want because that’s essentially the point of it all, to have fun, but I’m just not one of those people who have fun at things like that.

Fun fact: My senior prom. Chris and I got there early. Took the obligtory prom photo. Stuck around for an hour and left because I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t even want to go to prom, but my mom forced us to. Cost of the whole evening: around $1000 for attire, tickets, and photos. A thousand dollars for a bad night that ended with me falling asleep on Chris while watching Hitman on my couch.

So do what you will with your celebrations of sorts. Have fun. Enjoy them. Maybe one day I will come back to being my nine year old self around those sort of things, but for the time being I’m going to be a bitter young person who is hell bent on any type of thing like that.


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